shoebox_dw (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shoebox_dw) wrote2008-05-21 11:57 am
shoebox_dw) wrote2008-05-21 11:57 am
Wednesday's child is full of woe...
Man, it’s quiet around here (the office) today. Boredom is when you start checking Statcounter every hour-on-the-hour to see if anyone’s responded to your blogging brilliance.
Wednesday is when you keep seeing zeroes.
Seriously, what do we need a midweek for anyhow? Why can’t we skip straight from Tuesday (still pleasantly engaged and proactive) to Thursday (almost the weekend, yay!)? I mean, I’d still be carefully organizing order worksheets in a binder and calling it meaningful employment, but at least it’d be over way faster.
…Yeah, sorry, the work thing is starting to poke thru the distraction thing again. Awhile ago, my boss came back from HR to tell me that there’ll almost certainly be a spot for me come August; the trick was keeping myself at the top of the waiting list. In short, while I was of course free to explore my options at any time, the current best option here was that I should just stick my nose to a hard substance and wait it out. Come August, if it didn’t work out, the market would still be wide open.
This did not, at the time, seem like a bad plan; the security of it even rather seductive. I like working here well enough, or at least more than I like job hunting. Actually, I like creamed peas better than I like job hunting, the process thereof anyway, and the last time I ate creamed peas, I spewed them right across the kitchen. Besides, who hires anybody in summer that isn’t a student intern?
Er…as it turns out, one of our major vendors. They picked up one of my cubicle-mates just last week, so she glowingly informed us. And while I’m happy for her…I’m really, severely grouchy for me. Because in that one bold stroke my whole ‘sit around and demand the universe get exciting RIGHT NOW!’ plan has been exposed, and the full ridiculousness of a life lived as if it were being cartooned by Lynn Johnston – actually, more like Whatshisname the Hi & Lois hack - has dawned, irrevocably.
Thus I’ve spent the last few nights staring bemusedly at my resume, trying to figure out how to organize it so random stuffed-shirts will condescend to give it a second glance, not that I am hopelessly bitter or anything.
It cannot be a co-incidence that the minute I start praying about this I get to the part in the David Copperfield audiobook where Miss Betsey loses all her money and David heroically resolves to stride through the ‘forests of difficulty’, starting by learning shorthand (to report the Parlimentary debates, which used to be printed in the papers verbatim).
The good news is that David eventually turns out a famous and beloved novelist. The bad news is that I’m still sitting here trying to figure out what to write next…check that. I already know what I want to write next, and have had to spend most of my time recently talking myself down off the prospect.
What I’d really, seriously like to do, as you may have already guessed by now, is expand my Bob & Ray article into a full-scale biography. No, you don’t have to follow up by telling me how ludicrously far out of my league I’m venturing even to think of it, that’s been well covered, thanks much.
The hell of it is, though, I know I could do it. That I am not ordinarily the most perceptive of mortals I freely concede; but in this case the understanding is instinctive, the fascination enduring on multiple levels. Even repeated deliberate whacks in the face with the Damp Trout of Reality hasn’t overcome that serene inner conviction. With the net result that any other project I try and propose to myself seems flat, stale and wholly unprofitable by contrast.
[sigh]. Sorry again, Gentle Readership, I just really needed to vent. Back to cuteness and light next entry, I swear.
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But having supportive friends, now, that has got to be the coolest. :)
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I'm pondering a few things here, too.